It is not easy to have a puppy. Personally, I believe that owning a puppy is a huge responsibility. If you are not ready for it, then you are going to have a hard time. I do hope that you become able to hold your own when it comes to it. I do respect you, and I believe in what you are able to do. Do not lose sight of why you want to own a puppy in the first place.
Canine Behavioral Trainer